Below are the 6 most recent journal entries recorded in steve007101's LiveJournal:

Thursday, March 29th, 2007
8:43 pm	Fudge it all Fudge it all, fudge it all, this just in Charity says I'm just not her type. I give up... stick a fork in me I'm done. If I was any crazier I'd just give up girls, eh... I know I'm just being critical and all but that's how I feel, and we're suppose to hang out this weekend... some consolation... I just feel like staying home and playing video games as long as I can... Current Mood: life sucks (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 20th, 2007
7:36 pm	....? Hu? Oh, I'm ok. Well I guess I got a little dramatic there. The next day, after talking to a couple good online friends *cough* Kaname-chan and Wing-chan *cough* you know who you are. Anyway, I was feeling fine then and heck, I've talked to Charity since and things are actually looking ok, heck I'm always pretty happy after I talk to her. Good thing about being manic-depressant, you may get depressed once in awhile but you also get manic, gotta love it. Still need to look into some medication, now if only my dad could remember to call a psychiatrist... Current Mood: satisfied (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 10th, 2007
8:04 am	Well that's one Hope shot... Now I usually don't make entries obviously because I don't feel strongly about much... well, here's something alright. It was last weekend I had Charity come over, it was a good time, we watched stuff, played video games (her idea anyway), etc... but I knew I screwed a good couple things up so I was definetly sure at this point she probably didn't really like me especially because she had mentioned she still liked another guy making the voice in my head say "dude she sure as hell doesn't like you" although the rest of me was optimistic and just thought hey I still have a chance. Well, not really anymore. I talked to her on IM last night, she'd had a pretty stressful week, I'd had a stressful day... I'm still sympathetic and all. At some point we have a nice miscommunication like we apparently usually do, thanks of course to me, and she lets me know that I "can't say anything right"... which really doesn't help me out since that's the equivalent to a stab wound to me. Now there are two things people should know about me if anything 1) I'm manic depressant: my self-esteem and emotions go up and down, always for a reason mind you, to really high or low and only those two depending on I suppose what people say to me, my immediate feelings, etc... that's seriously not an exaggeration and 2) Having ADHD Impulsive I literally don't have as much a barrier between what I think and say as normal people do... I'm more inclined to speak my mind literally without thought to it. Now you may say "that's bull Steven, you're just using manic depressant and ADHD as an excuse" to which I would politely say "hey dumbass, why don't you just watch me for a good day, trust me I can convince you." Anyway, this and of course the fact that she's never thought I'm that "confident" although I'm very confident, it's just that when she does let me know through some way or another that I've screwed something up, doesn't make me feel very good and it's hard to just keep walking with a nice huge weight strapped to you. But I suppose I go off a little onto her about the fact that her problems aren't that bad and she should do something about it and get over it. She of course says I seem a little angry, well, here starts a nice vicious circle, I don't mean to be but I can't help it given that I can't say crap right and because of something I've unintentionally said before that I really didn't even mean she lets me know that's why she doesn't like me. It really just goes all downhill from here... she never really meant to hurt my feelings but it's really hard not to and of course I think it is all my fault which in reality it pretty much is but I apparently can't do anything about it. Anyway just to summarize everything basically, Charity doesn't like me, period, she's let me know she never really did, hell she's let me know she doesn't like my type or anything and she still likes another guy who's much better than me and probably doesn't even really want to consider having a boyfriend at the same time, although not her words exactly that's basically what she's said. Now I'm feeling bad obviously but after I can pick myself off the floor I think I'll be able to get over it... somewhat, for now. I really liked her a lot after all and still do, heck more than anyone else... can't believe I'd think so but I can still keep trying even though I'm sure after she's said "yeah you definetly have more problems than me" she really wouldn't want to even like me much now. Even so, I hope she feels better and I'll still try to be her friend at the least although it's a really hollow consolation... I seriously need to go back to thinking about medication... it's one way to solve a good problem of mine or two if it causes me to screw something like this up. Current Mood: numb (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 2nd, 2007
10:10 pm	New Year? Well I'm not perticularly caring that it's New Year's or even Christmas really (since I got my presents in November basically that is and I didn't really do anything in the last few days). New Year's is just another way to celebrate something just for the sake of it, the passage of time, not too bad though, but, eh, if anything I'm hoping things go better with Charity (aka the really cute Aeris cosplayer I met a couple months ago who apparently always seems to be busy... oh well, she still might actually like me and I really like her, just need to be patient) and I need to actually decide on some college related stuff... gah, they never really prepare you for it. Well... not like I'll be able to go to sleep for awhile, got a few things to take care of online and go to bed, hope tomorrow goes well. (Comment on this)
Monday, October 9th, 2006
1:03 pm	f you want to know anything about me now, here it is Well, I decided to start a blog on My Space... but since my friend reads LJ, here's it's first post: Well since I'm bored and figure if anyone wants to know what I'm thinking, I might as well write it down by starting a blog here. Well me in a few words is smart, very little social life, into anime/video games, and if anything I'm kinda trying to get a girlfriend lately. I've started being more social, going to all the homecoming stuff at school, not to mention trying to talk to a cute girl when I see one, dancing my butt off at the homecoming dance (and having fun tearing that dance floor a new one) but otherwise it doesn't seem like I'm getting peoples' (girls') attention. There was one girl who did come up and dance with me, for like 10 seconds 2-3 times, it was really hot, but then she avoided me when I tried to dance with her or just approach her... gah, I just wanted to talk to her. Found out who she is and even her My Space thanks to a friend so I can only hope she accepts my friend request at the least. Aside from the homecoming stuff this weekend though I did go to Archon, a sci-fi-fantasy convention, not really an anime convention, but I did meet a really cute Aeris cosplayer and talked to her for awhile... just a shame she sounds like she's usually busy, just like another friend of mine, Megan, who is very cute and funny as well but sadly also probably doesn't really like me and/or is just way too busy all the time. So, where does that get me? Nowhere, at least for now. Well, it's a good enough summary of my life at the moment, I'm goin to bed. Current Mood: lonely (12 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 1st, 2006
12:35 pm	Bummmbunanananaaaa Wellll I decided to make an LJ just to respond to some friends' posts... So yeah, feel free to just IM me if you want to talk for some reason... (Comment on this)